Death and Heaven

Throughout this work the term “departed” will be used, as some feel comfortable with the term. Then there are others which believe “departed” infers an unbalance because we are all connected whether visible or invisible.

My first experience of attending a funeral, I was 8 years old. My father’s friend had died and he wanted to attend his friend’s funeral. I asked my dad “what is a funeral?”  He said “it’s when we pay respect to someone.” I heard the word pay, but I did not know what respect was. So I asked “what does respect mean?”  His answer was its when others treat you the way you treat you. I did not ask any more.

I took a brief look at the man lying in the coffin, he lay there quite, and still, seemingly different than the way I remembered him.  The Pastor, attendees, deacons, ushers, family members, and other children were present. My father seemed to not take into account this was my first funeral, we were seated on the front row.  

I also remembered seeing pretty flowers in the crowded church with glass windows of many colors, and singing by a choir. As long as the choir was singing I felt calmer and not as scared. 

I asked my dad why his friend is not moving. My dad said because he’s dead and gone to heaven. I never asked my father where is heaven because the answers I was getting, thus far, were more than enough for me to understand.

My understanding of death was brought about by what my parents were taught to believe which of course my parents were taught by their parents' kin what death and heaven meant. Therefore Death and Heaven at that time in my life I was unable to conceptualize

After the funeral my dad and I arrived home. I thought I’ll ask my mom to describe heaven to me. I asked where is heaven? My mother asked why do you ask? I told her daddy said that is where his friend went. My mother said he’s not in heaven. After their moments of laughter mom said “it’s a place where people who do the right in life go.”  I asked, my mom to describe this place. She only said it’s a place of peace. I wanted a physical description.

When I was ten years old my favorite aunt, Auntie Ira died. I was told she went to heaven.” No one contradicted the declaration. I liked my aunt a lot. Every summer my aunt would bring my six cousins, my sister and I to visit her and my uncle in Richmond Heights, Florida. We would ask for whatever we wanted, (within reason) my uncle and she would allow us to have it. 

       Auntie Ira would have parties. On the record player there would be music by B.B.King, Otis Redding, Sam Cook, James Brown, and Chuck Berry. She would say to her guests y’all hold it down my nieces and nephew are in there, she then would come and check on us, we all would lay there motionless. My cousin John was the expert at playing possum and auntie could detect that we were up and about. She would close our door and about 15 to 20 minutes later, no more music, the guests would take a plate home. She was cool.

       Keep in mind my aunt was a numbers runner and no one in the family never mentioned this to my grandmother.  We were under the impression that Grandma was not aware of auntie’s activity. Yet because the whole family wanted to believe that auntie went to Heaven, I never questioned it.

       

        I thought about what my mom said about my father’s friend when she said it’s a place where people who do the right in life thing go. To the best of my knowledge my cousins and sister never mentioned about my aunt’s extracurricular activities.  

          

       When I was a child I prayed to God nightly that my aunt went to heaven. My auntie was never alone. She made friends very easily. I chose to believe my aunt went to heaven where many kindred spirits along the way help each other.

        Those which believe in the Laws of Karma, or Cause and Effect, or the Laws of Circulation, Rejuvenation, Regeneration, the Laws of Forgiveness or Last Rites, African Spiritual Practices or whatever your spiritual practices are, your loved ones are where you believe they are.

        Shortly after my aunt passed away, I watched the movie the Wizard Oz. In the movie the Land of Oz was beautiful, with golden brick roads, unique plants and flowers. This was my impression of Heaven. I thought to myself this place must be where my auntie Ira went.

Departed, Death, Leaving The Mortal Coil.

       As an adult I now choose to belief that based upon the spiritual growth of the “departed” or even the spiritual growth of the "survivor” coupled with concentrated usage of spiritual practices may influence the arrival to the Heavenly realm.  .

       The next realm may be where a “another family unit” is formed so as to learn lessons with the aid of each other which may be a reason why the departed have arrived on that particular realm to form “family members.” And now that the “departed” is on their journey they are easily drawn to assist each other on their new pilgrimage.

        If partying is allowed in Heaven stop by my aunt Ira’s, she makes the best collards, corn bread and souse… bar none. This memory gives me comfort.

Rev. Barbara